“Tennis Court” by Lorde – Lyrics for English Students

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Let’s take it to the court! The back and forth of gossip and mundane chit-chat form a part of the day-to-day of socialites that Ella Yelich-O’Connor loved to criticize in her first releases. From her album, Pure Heroine (now somewhat of a throwback, right?), these are the song lyrics to “Tennis Court” by Lorde. This is for English learners who might want to better understand informal speech, common expressions, and other cultural aspects of the song. But don’t mind that, all are welcome to read and listen. Enjoy!

To maximize practice: 1) Listen to the song while scrolling and reading the lyrics; 2) read the lyrics and explanations without music; 3) watch the video and listen to check understanding

To read the lyrics without my explanations: Genius

For more Lyrics “Explained”

‘Tennis Court’ – Lyrics & Explanations

Don’t you think that it’s boring how people talk?

Making smart with their words again, well, I’m bored

• Expressions: “Making smart” here could mean that they are trying to sound smart or be clever. Apparently, Lorde finds these conversations boring.

Because I’m doing this for the thrill of it, killin’ it

• Common Expressions: Doing something “for the thrill of it” is for excitement, it’s something that is a lot of fun.
• Slang: “Killing it” in this sense is doing something very well or having lots of success at it.

Never not chasin’ a million things I want

• Grammar: This is a double negative, but a clever one. It’s a more creative way to say *”Always chasing a million things I want …”

And I am only as young as the minute is, full of it

• Expressions / Casual Speech: “Full of it” probably has multiple meanings here. Normally, “full of it” describes a person who is very conceited, stuck up, and thinks mostly about themselves. It can also describe someone who is lying or being misleading. Taken together, she could be saying that she is “full” of the moment, living intensely by the minute.

Getting pumped up on the little bright things I bought

• Expressions / Slang: To get “pumped up” is to feel good or excited about something, usually because it makes you happy.

But I know they’ll never own me (Yeah)

Baby, be the class clown

• Social References: A “class clown” is the person at school that always makes jokes in class. They may like to tease other students or even the teachers.

I’ll be the beauty queen in tears

• Vocabulary: “In tears” is another way to say “crying.” Add that one to your vocab list!

It’s a new art form

Showing people how little we care (Yeah)

We’re so happy

Even when we’re smilin’ out of fear

Let’s go down to the tennis court

And talk it up like, “Yeah” (Yeah)

• Slang / Informal Speech: To “talk it up” is basically to chat or make small talk (have a light or random conversation). Saying, talk it up like “yeah” makes it seem like they won’t have anything deep or especially interesting to talk about, but it will just be to make casual conversation.

Pretty soon, I’ll be getting on my first plane

• Common Speech: Using “pretty” like this is the same as “kind of” or “fairly.” I guess it comes from the same idea as “fairly,” actually. Not very soon, like tomorrow, but pretty soon, like in the next two weeks.

I’ll see the veins of my city like they do in space

But my head’s fillin’ up fast with the wicked games, up in flames

• Alternative / Figurative Speech: To be “up in flames” is the same as being “on fire.” It is burning. In a figurative sense, it can mean that Lorde is having raging emotions, lots of bad (wicked) thoughts, and other wild tempers associated with growing up or being a teenager.

How can I f*** with the fun again when I’m known?

• Informal Speech / Slang: To “f***” with something means to experience it or have experience with it. “—Do you know how to bake? —Yeah, I f*** with it.” This is obviously very vulgar and would only be used in situations where other people are openly cursing, so be careful! A cleaner way to say this is “mess with” or “get down with.” “I mess with it. I get down with it.” By “known,” she means “well-known,” as in when she becomes famous.

And my boys trip me up with their heads again, lovin’ them

• Informal Speech: To “trip up” can have a few different meanings. It can be to confuse, to baffle (shock), surprise, or even to make someone laugh. All of the meanings and more are likely in this context. By “heads,” she’s probably referring to their ideas, opinions, senses of humor, and so on.

Everything’s cool when we’re all in line for the throne

But I know it’s not forever (Yeah)

Baby, be the class clown

I’ll be the beauty queen in tears

It’s a new art form

Showing people how little we care (Yeah)

We’re so happy

Even when we’re smilin’ out of fear

Let’s go down to the tennis court

And talk it up like, “Yeah” (Yeah)

It looked all right in the pictures (Yeah)

• Spelling Standards: Both “all right” and “alright” are accepted spellings.

Getting caught’s half of the trip though, isn’t it? (Yeah)

• Idioms / Expressions: “It’s half of the trip” is similar to the expression “it’s part of the fun.” This is usually said to make light of a bad situation, like getting lost on a road trip. “But getting lost is half of the trip!” In the lyric, Lorde could be referring to an embarrassing photo that got leaked online, and she (or someone else) got caught.

I’ll fall apart, with all my heart (Yeah)

And you can watch from your window (Yeah)

• Figurative Speech: This seems like an invitation for us to watch her struggles and fiascos on our glass screens (TV, cell phone, etc.) as if we were Lorde’s nosey neighbors watching through our glass “windows.”

And you can watch from your window

Then it repeats.

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• Habits (Stay High) Tove Lo; Dani California Red Hot Chili Peppers; Rumour Has It Adele; Carnies Martina Topley-Bird; Lazaretto Jack White; Cameo Lover Kimbra; The Ghost Who Walks Karen Elson; Jesus He Knows Me Genesis; i like the devil Purity Ring; Pleasure Feist

‘Creature Love’ | a visual poem

Creature Love – Video

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Also, here’s the written version of the poem below. You can read along and listen for English practice, or simply enjoy. Thanks for coming!

Poem

Creature you in breach on me

This being rocks all living things

She swings on vines and clings on trees;

amazing beast that wildly sings

On me she puts a witch’s spell;

a dart frog poison liquid gel

My lyric-bathing, cinematic,

gnawing bone, tumbling in havoc–

Oh, and she dances I might add,

a folly, live hamadryad

Her breath is strong but never reeks;

her voice is loud, but never speaks

While bold in ears and nose and cheeks

the creature’s skin feels fine and sleek

Oh, dancer queen that rubs off bright

A brilliant lunar satellite

with actions that I gyrate with,

and commands that I am at width

to consider, if to me it tells

because I’m under witches’ spells

And lizard tongues with dragon wings

and blueish pools of youthful wells

sparkle, glitter shines on its shell

and above its hundred gleaming eyes

It makes a clear disguise because all clarity she brings

With a natural sense like vast backdrops

or cauliflower lollipops

She burns like fifty suns, the creature

An animal of circus fun

Her radiation fries my outsides,

her hide is woven lead sulfide

And eyes too deep for rocket ships

to endlessly fleet the universes,

Too bright for super nebulae

Such dark and muddy fantasy!

A globe of points tied down in one

This ache, I feel, when she has gone

like parasitic symbiont;

an avant-garde cartoon savant

with animated movie smiles in exaggerated style

The scorching that I feel before surreal peace sets me clean;

my feet turn all the shades of blue and my face turns all green

ever since the beast lent her neck and back to saddle me

From the dawn of time until the night, its fix holds on to saddle me

Read this on Inkspired

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Share your poems to get featured or contact to share this one! tietewaller@gmail.com

Bio-Realms – A Better Way Than Continents to ‘Divide’ the World?

Continents are confusing …

original by Brett Zeck

There’s an ongoing question that pokes at the side of so many people in this world. Should I take my shower before or after work? Woah, not that! You dirty minds. While either way you choose has its benefits, I was thinking about the continents. Most people agree that there are seven continents … no wait, there are definitely five … maybe three real ones and a handful of small ones? 

You see the issue; it’s hard to define what a continent really is. Is it a large landmass completely separate from all others like a social-distancing master? Or, is a continent just any big chunk of land that generally fits together, separated only by a thin isthmus or huge range of mountains, for example? I get the feeling this was so much easier back in the Pangaea days.

Read more:

• National Geographic‘s take on what a continent is
• Origin of the continents’ names

I’m not here to prove what is a continent and what isn’t. Instead of trying to define them, we can look at what could be a much better way of “dividing” our world — if we must divide it at all. This potentially better system is by way of the bio-realm. But first, why is the continent system so jacked up in the first place?

Why is the continent system jacked up?

For one, it’s hard to tell what a continent is and how it should be divided. The names of continents we have now were mostly named by outsiders, with proposed etymologies coming mostly from European or Middle Eastern origins. Keep in mind the names of some of these places are so archaic that they can get seriously hard to trace.

Some factors that make the continents confusing can be:

1. There’s such a diversity of cultures and demographics on any given continent that an umbrella term can’t capture them all (“African” for Tunisia and the Congo, “Asian” for India and Japan)
2. Many countries fall into a weird buffer zone (Is Egypt African or Asian? Is Armenia Asian or European? What is the Caribbean? The Middle East? Oceania?)
3. Many countries can’t agree on what the real continents are anyway (North and South America, or just America? Is it Eurasia, or maybe Afro-Eurasia? Australia, Oceania, or Australasia? Good-ness!)

That is pretty jacked up. So, what are the bio-realms? Why might they be better than continents?

Into a new “realm”

carol

Biogeographic realms, in this circumstance, are a way to look at the world by dividing it among major ecological and geographical areas. This means places that share a somewhat continuous ecology (plant and animal life, in most cases, climate and habitat types too). Plus, don’t you just love the word “realms?” It sounds like we’re traveling into some kind of fantasy dimension. 

Read more:

• The 8 Biogeographic Realms

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Okay, so the bio-realms are:

• Nearctic Realm (North America excluding the tropics)
• Neotropical Realm (all of the Americas in or south of the tropics, i.e. Central & South America + the Caribbean)
• Palearctic Realm (all of Europe and Asia north of the tropics, including Northern Africa)
• Afrotropical Realm (all of Africa in or south of the tropics, including the tropics of Arabia and the Arabian Sea coast west of Pakistan)
• Indo-Malayan Realm (all of Asia in or south of the tropics, going east from Pakistan)
• Australasian Realm (Australia, New Zealand, and Melanesia, including Papua and Maluku Islands)
• Oceanian Realm (Micronesia and Polynesia, generally the Asia-Pacific region)
• Antarctic Realm (Antarctica and the surrounding seas)

*I like to separate between West and East Palearctic since the region is so huge, but that’s personal preference, not scientific or anything

One cool thing about this system of looking at the world is that it is more fluid. For example, Mauritius and Madagascar can be considered Afrotropical in terms of geography but Indo-Malayan in terms of culture and history. On a broader note, this grouping can help people get a truer sense of what the world really looks like. The bio-realms are intended to be solely geographical, but without really trying, they pretty well represent most of the historic and cultural interactions that people have had over the millennia too. 

For instance, Morocco had a lot more interaction and influence in nearby Spain than it did in faraway Uganda. Pretty much all of Latin America — and the Caribbean with which it shares many similarities — are in or south of the tropics anyway. South and Southeast Asia have been interacting with and have a lot more in common with each other than they do with the rest of Asia. North African countries have a lot more shared history and identity with Europe and the Middle East than they do with Sub-Saharan Africa in general. 

Read more:

• Geography on Cult-surf
• The Actual English World

Of course, the world is globalizing and interconnectivity between cultures is constantly on the rise. Even still, the divisions of bio-realms make a lot more sense when grouping places together based on shared geography, climate, and cultures. 

Like with the continents, there are definitely problematic zones that aren’t so easy to categorize. Places like Melanesia, the Sahara, and the Himalayas are still tricky because the cultural and geographic lines aren’t so clear-cut from one side to the other. Several countries like Mexico, China, and Indonesia would fall into two realms, while countries like Pakistan fall into three. That could get a little weird. Even with these issues, I appreciate that the bio-realms at least show how there are great levels of diversity within those countries, amplifying their special roles as doorways between realms. (See, isn’t this fun?!)

Going back to the purpose of this article, the bio-realm system wouldn’t be a way to divide people but to more accurately view the world the way it really is. They are not supposed to be a sharp clear line of separation, but rather a wide fuzzy line that combines similar areas into large general categories. The system is much more accurate at representing the world’s actual geography, somewhat better at grouping the world’s people, but still flawed like any other manmade labeling system.

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What do you think about the bio-realms? Did you understand this way of dividing the world? Could it be valuable to utilize this system and the continental system together? Or would you rather stick with the good old continents? 

Thank you for reading, and take good care of each other, whatever realm you reside in! 

Contact or collaborate: tietewaller@gmail.com, or Give me a shout!

Careful looking outward – How to use expressions with ‘Watch’ (watch out, watch it, & more)

Muhammad Daudy

Looking at a kangaroo juggle fire can be interesting. But watching a kangaroo juggle fire is a lot better. The difference between “look” and “watch” is often a struggle for English learners to understand, but consider this; “watching” is like “looking” more attentively.

Look = just using your eyes to observe something.

Watch = looking at something and paying attention to / processing what is happening.

Watch

That’s part of the idea behind some informal meanings of “watch.” In some situations, people may use watch as a way to tell someone to be careful. This relates to someone paying attention, usually because they’re being a little careless.

• Watch your step. The sidewalk is very uneven here.

Watch it

This is similar to the term watch it which has the same meaning, telling someone to be careful. When said in a disciplinary tone, it can be used to warn someone about their (bad) behavior too.

• Watch it. The drivers at this intersection don’t check for pedestrians.
• You better watch it! I told you to stop being rude.

Watch yourself / your back / your mouth + more

Oftentimes, “watch it” can be short for expressions like watch your mouth or watch yourself. All of these have the same general meaning of being careful with what you say. We usually say this to people who are acting wildly, saying offensive things or simply behaving badly. You may also hear people use several variations of this, like “watch what you say,” “watch your words,” “watch your tone,” “watch your back,” and so on. That last one, by the way, is more of a threat than the others.

• Nina from third period called you ugly? I hope you told her to watch her mouth.
• Excuse me, Sir! You are being extremely rude. You need to watch yourself.
• You better watch your back when you come around here next time.

Watch out!

Another precautionary expression that is pretty popular is watch out. Telling someone to “watch out” is the same as saying be careful. This is usually because something is putting them in danger, although the danger could be physical or otherwise. When telling someone to be careful about something specific, we would tell them to “watch out for” that thing.

• Whenever they tell George of the Jungle to “watch out for that tree,” he always ends up hitting it anyway.

Read more:

• differences between Watch out and Be careful, & more

Those are some of the key points you’ll want to know about the expressions using “watch.” How would you use these in a sentence? Have you heard these expressions before? Let us hear your thoughts!

Below is a short story, part of the Adventures of Charles series where we explore the above terms in their everyday usage. If you like stories and want to get some reading practice in, I encourage you to read along!

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Careful looking outward – Short Story

Tim Wilson

Nothing could be heard but the rush of the wind blowing into the open windows. The sight, on the other hand, was much more beautiful. There was a mountain on one side covered in emerald grass and a few heads of cactus; the dark gray asphalt extended and curved out ahead of them, lined down the middle with yellow stripes the whole way; the crashing waves of the ocean burst onto the rocky shores. The most scenic part of it all that Charles could place his eyes on was Sheila, who was sitting next to him in the driver’s seat.

–All right! You ready to drive? she asked him.

–Who, me? Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t driven since I came to this country. I don’t really feel safe.

–Come on, it’s like riding a bike! Sheila insisted.

The two hopped out of the blue BMW M and traded seats. Charles suddenly noticed how new and, especially, how fast the car looked.

–You’ll do fine. Just don’t crash us into the ocean.

Sheila said this as a joke, but it didn’t make him feel any better. Charles started the car, shifted gear, and drove off. For a minute he felt pretty comfortable. Hey, I could get the hang of this. He was so relaxed that he started looking off at the waves, the green hillside, and got stuck on Sheila’s charming face. From the cheeks to the eyes, down to the nose, and then the chin …

–Make sure you watch the road, yeah?

Charles suddenly jerked the steering wheel, making the whole car jump until he could settle it. At that moment, a big rig truck started coming at them from the other direction.

—Watch it …

When he saw the truck hurling his way, Charles panicked and turned sharply onto a narrow stony road. He kept going from there.

–I’ll hand it to you. I never have come down this road, Sheila said in a sarcastic tone.

–Where did I take us? Oh, son of a–

–Hey! Watch your mouth. There’s a lady present.

Sheila snickered at her own comment. Charles pulled the car over to contemplate. After about a minute, they noticed a rumbling coming over the countryside. They both looked at each other, like, What is that? A few dark spots peeked over the green pastures until the hills were suddenly covered with them. One of the creatures ran towards the BMW, apparently interested in the vibrant paint job.

–What are those things? asked Charles.

–You’ve never seen these? They’re called bison, I think.

And bison, they were. A curious cow nearest them was licking Sheila’s rearview mirror, comically trying to check her teeth. She gave a hard sneeze and fogged the mirror, then she ran away to graze on some grass.

Sheila then said, –Hey, I’ve got an idea. Put the car into reverse, and try to make it back to the highway.

–Why reverse? Charles replied. –Can’t I just go straight?

–There’s a lot more bison ahead of us, and if you scare them they might stampede. You just have to steer, you’ll be fine.

–That’s what you said the last time.

Sucking up all the confidence he could find, he put the car into reverse and started backing up. The bison initially weren’t interested in the two of them at all. That was until Charles accidentally revved up the motor really loud, and all the bison started to scatter.

–Go faster, faster! We have to get out of here!

Charles steered one way and Sheila grabbed the wheel trying to steer another. The bumps and stones on the ground made the car jump and shake uncontrollably. They crisscrossed through bison, being extra careful (or extra lucky) not to hit any of them. After being nearly frightened to death, somehow Charles was able to get them past the maze of bison and onto the highway again. To Sheila’s surprise though, one stray bison had made its way onto the pavement, and a car was coming right at it.

—Watch out, little bison! she yelled.

The sound of screeches and the smell of hot rubber filled the air around them. Charles and Sheila shut their eyes in horror. When they opened them again, they were surprised to see the other car stopped to a complete halt. The bison, probably the same cow that had come to Sheila’s car, was at the other car now, licking the rearview mirror as before.

–Oh, thank God, Sheila sighed. –That was too close.

Charles looked at her now, smiling.

–So, how did I do? Ready to drive back?

Sheila was quick to respond, “Ohh, that is okay. I’d better take over on this one.”

Some advice on International Relationships

Originally Published: June 18, 2021 on Relationship Matters by Susan Rex

(https://relationtippmatters.wordpress.com/2021/06/18/some-advice-on-international-relationship/)

Guest post by; Trystn Waller on what you need to know about international relationship

With so much connectivity today, many people will explore a variety of relationships. One side of this that’s been made easier by way of the internet is international couples. Some of you may have thought about, once tried, or even are now in an international relationship. And well, that makes two of us. With all the concern about how different they are, how might these kinds of relationships be like any other? What makes them more difficult, and what good comes from them? Here is a bit about these kinds of relationships, along with some advice from someone who’s in one.

Read similar posts:

• on the Blog
• Dating Internationally Interview

Like any other relationship;

The first thing I can tell you about an international relationship is kind of obvious, but it’s important to remember. Just like with any other relationship, it requires two people (or sometimes more) who decide to be together regardless of whatever else is happening in their lives.

With that said, you can bet it’s going to require sacrifice, selflessness, some forgive-and-forget, and some good old give-and-take. Like in “national” relationships (?), involvement with the partner’s family is likely going to be a part of the deal. Another trope that’s common in most relationships is having to accept the partner’s past and “baggage,” whether that is perceived as good or bad. Understanding and comprehension go a long way.

Difficulties: The hard part;

When talking about international relationships, the most difficult thing that comes to mind has to be the distance. An overlying question, at least during the beginning stages, will be how to make time to be together. Depending on where the partner lives or on your situation, this could be a heavy financial weight on the couple.

Many countries require visas for citizens to get to their country or vice versa. Even if they don’t, passports cost money too. Some countries don’t require a passport for entry depending on where you’re coming from, but then the plane/bus/train/boat/border coyote will cost you. No matter how you look at it, just getting to your international partner will be a struggle.

Because of this, much of the communication will likely be on the internet at first. Couples might go months, if not years, just talking on the phone or by video until they can finally meet. This could mean the slightest delay in response causing you or your partner to suspect the worse.

“Why aren’t they answering? They should be at home by now. Are they cheating on me? Did they die?!”

That’s not to mention the cultural differences. Often different people groups within a country have clashing cultural traditions, so you can imagine what that looks like for international couples. And if the foreign partner happens to speak a different language then that adds another barrier and a tremendous challenge to be overcome. That is, assuming neither of the partners is bilingual.

Benefit: The good part;

That’s a pretty long list of challenges, but there is a lot to look forward to with international love. Since these kinds of couples tend to have to communicate so much more, this builds stronger communication skills. It also has the potential to create a stronger bond between the partners. Imagine if the only way you could spend time with your partner was by talking. You won’t be sitting and watching Netflix all day, that’s for sure.

That’s the kind of thing that builds trust and unity in any relationship, though it’s exploited a little more with the online nature of international couples. This kind of commitment also opens the partners up to another culture, a foreign language (or accent), and different ways of life. This can be highly enriching for the partners in that they can gain an entirely new perspective, later allowing them to consider things they never would have thought of before.

One can also feel the triumph of making it work after all the ostensible barriers get knocked down and you finally make it together. Approximating with another culture and a different lifestyle, you have the potential to gain some true sympathy for what others (especially immigrants) have to go through.

Of course, if you’re the one that will be going off to see the partner, one benefit is travel. Go and see the world, explore the country the partner lives in. It’s a chance to see another part of this wonderful planet!

Some advice: Listen if you want;

From personal experience in an international relationship, I’d say communication is number one. The key is finding, no, making time to talk with your partner. That has to be a priority because it’s the only time you have with them. Even when the couple is together, the language/cultural barrier may make things tougher than usual on one of the partners, so communication is doubly essential here.

With that said, partners should prioritize together time all the time, but especially while far apart. Whether on the phone or laptop, I and my wife always celebrated Valentine’s Day, birthdays, holidays, and whatever else together. That’s how you make it feel like you’re together.

Because the partners are so far apart, jealousy and insecurity about what’s happening on the other end could be a problem. I’d say be understanding of this and know that it’s a part of the journey. As the couple continues to grow together, they’ll trust each other more and more. It takes a constant reassurance of your presence and your commitment. “I’m here. I love you. I’m with you. I’m yours.” I know it’s a little old-fashioned, but get romantic, y’all. You just have to prove you can be trusted. Can you?

Lastly, if one of the partners speaks another language, I’d say learn that language. It doesn’t have to be too fluency, but at least well enough to communicate. This sounds like a given, but I’ve been watching 90 Day Fiancé. I’ve seen those people that just rely on Google Translate to talk to their partner. Shame on you.

But really, it goes back to respect and communicating, and you kind of need to know how to speak to do that. I mean, non-verbal signs only go so far. Beyond speaking or hearing, the ability to respect another’s culture is key too. One doesn’t have to adopt the culture of their partner completely, but having a sense of understanding and respect, being willing to hear what their culture is all about is super important. After all, showing respect earns respect, am I right?

Conclusions;

I hope this little list of pros and cons helped those of you in or considering international relationships. Or maybe you’re just curious. Either way, this is in no way to discourage or encourage anyone to love someone from another country. There are obvious and more discreet challenges, but all in all, it’s a relationship that requires the same building blocks as any other. What do you think? Would you be willing to try this kind of relationship? Or did I steer you away? Happy reading, and love one another!

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**Thanks again Susan for the opportunity to host this article originally on your website! I look forward to more colabs in the future. Keep on teaching them about healthy relationships! -CultSurf

About Ireland 🇮🇪 Special in the English World

Elevation

Ireland stands out in the English-speaking world

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That’s right! Talking about the green island — well, green, white and orange, if we want to get technical. Ireland is one of the most recognizable and influential English-speaking countries out there. Here we’ll explore some of the reasons behind that bold statement. We’ll also take a quick look at the geography, culture, and other aspects of this modern Celtic nation. Let’s do it!

Read more: the Actual English World; Geography

Profile & Stuff — Geography of Ireland

Andrein

One thing that can get confusing about Ireland is … well, what it is. There’s the island (and smaller isles) of Ireland, yes, which holds two different countries on it. One — the one we’re talking about — is the Republic of Ireland, or Poblacht na hÉireann if you want to get fancy (we’ll just call it Ireland for simplicity’s sake). The other is the United Kingdom, which lays claim on the island by way of Northern Ireland. Northern Ireland itself is a bit confusing, not necessarily a country, but maybe a special county, a semi-autonomous region, we don’t know for sure. 

Anyway, Ireland (the republic) is a bit easier to define. Unlike its Great British neighbors, Ireland is still in the EU. The rest of the UK sits just across the Irish Sea and the two entities have impacted each other for millennia now. Don’t check the watch on that one. 

Ireland’s capital is Dublin, which is also the biggest urban area. Even though about 40% of Ireland’s people live in this one region, there are still other major towns like Cork, Limerick, and Galway. Irish people themselves are pretty homogeneous, being in not too big of a place. Still, immigrant communities are present and well on the island, with many coming from other parts of Europe, the Middle East, East Asia, and Brazil of all places.

Cliffs of Moher – Henrique Craveiro

Historically, Ireland has been divided into provinces. Namely, they are Connacht, Leinster, Munster, and Ulster. Today they don’t serve much of any administrative purpose, although they do hold value in other ways. Locally, the country is divided into 31 entities; that’s 26 counties, 3 cities, and 2 city-and-counties.

The climate in Ireland is temperate and maritime with mostly mild, cool weather. It can get super rainy but isn’t super snowy. These were great conditions for vast forests, although most of those have been cut down. Most the landscape these days is hilly and pastoral with green fields. A majority of the land is set aside for agriculture. There’s a general central plain that culminates in more highland areas around the edges, especially in the west. Much of the coast is rocky with cliffs. Cliff diving, anyone?

Irish Identity

What’s the craic, lads? C’mon, give me your best Irish accent! We all know it when we hear it, and that’s due in part to the iconic culture of this place. Common social values in Ireland have to do with their unique sense of humor, storytelling, and folklore, an interest in politics and philosophy, admiration for wit, open expression, and the arts, as well as a pride for (and conflict with) the tricky history of the nation. Who really wants to bring up Protestant discrimination, foreign conquest and assimilation, or the several devastating famines? Not me, my friend. 

This sense of pride, though, is one of the very reasons so many Irish abroad are quick to claim their origins. Often, even those with distant Irish descendants are happy to claim where their ancestry. This could be due in part to Irish last names being pretty easily identifiable. 

A lot of them come from Gaelic origin, with names like O’Reilly, O’Hara, MacDonald, McAvoy, Murphy, Flanagan, Kennedy, etc. Oh, and the Normans had something to do with it (Kilpatrick, Kilkenny, Fitzpatrick, Fitzgerald), and the Welsh (Walsh). But hey, there’s a lot more to it. Some of the most iconic parts of Irish culture come from Gaelic roots, such as certain musical styles, dance, dress, and sports. I mean, hurling and Gaelic football are mostly an Ireland thing.

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Farming and small-town life are also significant aspects of Irish identity, given all those agricultural fields we mentioned earlier. Counties play a role in many people’s identities, shaping things like accent and team affiliations, among others. Dublin is a major cultural and arts center, tied in as one of Europe’s most important financial and technology hubs too. It’s also had a lot more English influence over the years as compared to rural Ireland, so Anglo-Irish ID is a bit stronger than elsewhere in the country. 

Irish Folklore

Respect the Lep – pxfuel

Irish folklore has also played a huge role in popular world folklore, especially in places like the U.S. and UK. Just think of how big Saint Patrick’s Day and shamrocks are outside of Ireland. Other major characters popularized (at least partially) by Irish storytellers include fairies, pixies, mermaids, the shapeshifting Pooka, the headless horseman, Dullahan, and most noteworthy of all, yes, leprechauns! Don’t know why I got all excited on that one.

Last one here, I wanted to mention Samhain (Saow-in). This traditional Celtic festival where turnips were used to scare away bad spirits would later evolve into today’s Halloween. Most of us use pumpkins instead of turnips now, but popular media have brought this spooky celebration all over the world. And it all stems back to pagan rituals. Imagine that.

Irish = Catholic?

Zach Plank

After Gaelic culture, few things have influenced Irish identity and development like Catholicism. We know there’s a whole lot of controversy here, but what can I say? This Christian denomination is so crucial that it has basically been used as a major distinguisher between who is an “Irish national” and who is an “Irish Brit,” or just “Brit.” Irish from the republic are nominally a lot more Catholic, while those in Northern Ireland are a lot more Protestant. It could seem like a trivial difference, but centuries of squabbling and prejudice have really driven the fork deep between the two sides. 

Even though it’s been a major issue, on and off, many Northern Irish still consider themselves as simply “Irish.” There’s steady talk of Irish unification too. I don’t know enough about it to voice an opinion, and I’m sure not everyone is open to that happening. Still, it shows how there is some mutual respect and cooperation between the two sides of the island. 

The color green is often associated with the country on an international level. Despite conveniently being the color of clovers, it also is associated with the Catholic Church within Ireland (orange is associated with the Protestants). 

Speaking the Gaelic

Irish Gaelic or Gaelige is a co-official language with English. It used to be the main language of the people up to about a hundred or so years ago. At different points in history, Ireland was under the control of Great Britain or England. The most recent time during the Industrial Revolution saw a rise in literacy and other factors that grew the English-speaking population substantially, kind of merking those poor Gaelic speakers. Well, not the speakers themselves, but you get it.

Nowadays, Gaelic has struggled to keep up since many don’t really see a need to learn it. Most fluent speakers happen to be older or from rural areas where Gaelic culture is still strong. Cities or areas that have significant amounts of Gaelic speakers are called Gaeltacht, I’ve gathered. Since it’s not really spoken outside of Ireland, and only spoken by a small percentage within its own country, you can understand why it’s a hard one to sell, especially to the youngsters. 

Still, the language is mandatory in schools and most people know at least as much Gaelic as I know Spanish from my high school classes. There’s also a sense of revival for Gaelic in some communities, much like there is for lots of endangered languages around the globe. Despite not being fluently spoken by many, the language itself serves a sense of Celtic-rooted identity. 

Many words, idioms, and expressions have made their way into the local variety of English. The Irish accent, influenced by Gaelic tongues, Norman and Anglo-Saxon dialects, English, and the several other Gaelic and Brythonic languages nearby have all shaped each other and meshed to influence the local version of English we all recognize today. Cool stuff. 

To hear some people speaking in Gaelic and with Irish accents, watch and listen below!

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Further Reading

• Irish Culture
• more Irish Culture
• Irish Folklore

Everyday Expressions about Cars and Driving (part 2) – English List

Peter Miranda

Welcome to this version of English List. Cars have had such a huge impact on that language–the English one–and we’re here to prove it! This is part 2 of Everyday Expressions about Cars and Driving, including some terms that can be used for both vehicles and other life situations.

For English students, these can be a cool way for you to liven up your word choice and vocabulary. Otherwise, you may just like driving cars or be an awesome English-speaking person that loves to learn. Whatever it is, I hope you enjoy the article. Feel free to give your own examples, ask questions, give feedback, do whatever!

Alrighty, let’s get rolling.

Read Part 1: Some Everyday Expressions about Cars & Driving

Full Tank

Powered up

It’s easy to imagine the benefits of a full tank of gas. Similarly, when talking about people, we can say that person has a full tank. This is like saying that they are full of energy, ready to go, and pumped full of enthusiasm. There’s also the expression “on full,” which is the opposite of “on E” (on empty). Careful, though! “On F” isn’t quite a popular expression (yet).

No stopping … no stopping

• Let’s make sure the truck’s got a full tank so we don’t have to stop the whole trip.

• He has been running for hours and is still on a full tank! Can you believe it?

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Roll up (the window)

Windows shut

This one may sound obvious, but it might not be so for English learners. When talking about making the window go up in a car, we can say roll the window up or roll up the window (it works the same for “down” too). Roll up by itself also has a multitude of meanings. It can be as simple as “to roll something” or to “arrive or go somewhere.”

Read also: Roll out, rolling, & other expressions

Getting there

• Can you please roll the window up? It’s freezing in here!

• I have to roll up my clothes so that they can fit in my suitcase.

• Do you feel like rolling up to my cousin’s house? You know, she’s the one with the big TV.

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Junk in the trunk

Big things in the back

This phrase is near and dear to many English speakers. Literally, it refers to having too much “junk”, or lots of random and useless objects, in the trunk of one’s car. Junk in the trunk can also be used to talk about people, especially women, saying that they have a big behind. This is actually the first thing that will come to mind to most English speakers when this silly phrase is said.

It is a very playful expression, used mostly with people we are really comfortable with, and it can be a really funny thing to say.

A beautiful mess

• Do you know if Tyler has any jumper cables? There’s so much junk in his trunk, I can’t find it.

• Mark told me I had a lot of junk in my trunk. Uh, I think he likes me.

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Backseat driver

No driving from the back

Just picture it: you are riding along happily in your car, not a care in the world. Suddenly, you hear a voice from the back seat telling you to turn your blinkers on before you switch lanes. That’s decent advice, but still, nobody likes a backseat driver.

This expression is used to refer to someone who is giving instructions or directions but is “out of line” to. Maybe they are unqualified, or maybe they just weren’t a part of the conversation, to begin with.

Input from the sidelines

• I thought to tell you to slow down, but I didn’t want to be a backseat driver.

• The parents on the other team are such backseat drivers. They should just let the coaches do their jobs, right?

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Clay LeConey

Down the road

What is to come

Driving is a lot more comfortable when you can see far down the road. This expression refers to what is ahead of you, further down the street. In a figurative sense, it means what is ahead in life, as opposed to the actual street or highway. Still, it’s a very useful idiom to know.

Looking forward

• There’s a new Chipotle that opened up down the road. Want to try it?

• You should always be prepared because you never know what might happen down the road.

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U-turn

Turn it around

When driving, some people get the sudden urge to want to completely change directions on the road. That round 180-degree change is called making a U-turn. Likewise, people can make a “U-turn” in life as they completely change directions or go back to old habits.

Another very informal way of saying this is making a U-ey. (Some also say “pulling” a U-ey, “busting” a U-ey, “flipping” a U-ey, it’s all the same)

Bring it back

• Sheryl was so happy in retirement. Now, all of a sudden, she did a big U-turn and went back to teaching again.

• Do you think we can make a U-ey on this road? I think we can.

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Run out of steam

Steam-less

No one wants this. When you’re driving and the car suddenly stops working. Apparently it’s got no more gas, no power, and everything says that is has run out of steam. The same idea can go for people when they don’t have the smallest bit of energy left in them.

Run until the running’s done

• Boy, I sure hope this old truck doesn’t run out of steam before we make it home.

• Alex started the day off full of energy, but now she looks like she ran out of steam.

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Timothy Dykes

Driving (me) nuts!

Nuts and (crazy) berries

Many people like to drive, while others get enraged by it. Driving someone nuts is the same as making them feel crazy. Other ways to say this are driving someone “mad,” driving someone “crazy”, driving someone “bananas,” and driving someone “coocoo”, among others.

This “driving” is usually used with negative emotions, so you would not say “driving me happy,” for example.

Ja-Making me crazy!

• Is this Camila Cabello? Oh no, her music drives my brother insane.

• I can’t handle being around kids while they’re crying. They drive me nuts!

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Read more expressions about cars and driving: Hubpages

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**Thank you for reading! Do you know any other car-related expressions or phrases? Can you use them in a sentence? Feel welcome, this is your place!

Contact for personal messages, English advice, or collaboration: tietewaller@gmail.com (Contact Page)

Check out similar posts on the Blog

Peace & love, y’all!

“Habits (Stay High)” by Tove Lo – Lyrics for English Students

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Going to the club and watching strangers have a go at each other isn’t a habit that most people have, I’d feel pretty safe to say. But most of us do have a bad habit that we’re trying to kick, which made this song more relatable in the end. Maybe you’re an English student or English learner. Maybe you heard this song and loved it, but didn’t understand some parts. Maybe you understand all the lyrics and just wanted to hear it again. Whatever brought you here, welcome! These lyrics are meant to help those who are learning English and may not have picked up on certain expressions or grammar, but anyone is welcome to read.

To read the lyrics without my explanations: Genius Lyrics

Challenge for better practice:

1) listen to the song and try to pay attention to the words, 2) read the lyrics with the explanations below, then, 3) listen to the song again to check your comprehension.

Warning!

The video and the lyrics have some slightly inappropriate content. It may not be good for kids, and parents might have to use discretion on this one. Everyone’s taste is different so, you know … enjoy!

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Read more: Lyrics “Explained”

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Habits (Stay High) – Lyrics & Explanations

I eat my dinner in my bathtub, then I go to sex clubs

Watchin’ freaky people gettin’ it on

• Slang / Informal Expressions: “Freaky” in this sense means to be very sexually open, promiscuous, and adventurous. Or, it’s just someone who likes sex a lot. To “get it on” means to get physical, have intimate relations with someone.

It doesn’t make me nervous, if anything, I’m restless

Yeah, I’ve been around and I’ve seen it all

• Expressions / Idioms: Saying “I’ve been around” is like saying that the person has experience, has lived through many situations, and some things that are shocking to most seem normal to her. An extended way to say the same thing is, “I’ve been around the block.”

I get home, I got the munchies

• Slang / Informal Speech: “The munchies” is being hungry or having a craving for certain types of food. It usually is an abnormal hunger, persistent and won’t go away. I think it was popularized with cannabis culture since people often get the munchies after smoking.

Binge on all my Twinkies

Evan-Amos

• Common Speech: To “binge” is to consume a lot of something in a short amount of time, often to the point of getting sick from it. It’s often used to talk about food, but nowadays people also “binge-watch” a TV show or series.
• Snacks: I’ll post a picture of a Twinkie for those that don’t know.

Throw up in the tub, then I go to sleep

And I drank up all my money, dazed and kinda lonely

• Casual Speech: To “drink up” something means to drink it all. She is referring to drinking alcohol, or spending all her money on liquor.
• Common Speech: “Dazed” means to be in a weird mental state of numbness and confusion, almost like being in a trance.

You’re gone and I gotta stay high

• Grammar: *”And I’ve got to stay high …” also, “and I have to stay high …”
• Slang: “High” is being under the influence of drugs, probably cannabis in Tove Lo’s case.

All the time to keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

High, all the time, to keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Spend my days locked in a haze tryna forget you, babe

• Grammar: *”I spend my days … trying to forget you babe …”
• Common Speech: “Haze” is like a fuzzy, thick smoke or pollution in the air. When talking about a mental state, it relates to being in a fuzzy, clouded state of mind where things don’t really make sense. It also could just mean that she smokes every day trying to forget her ex or whoever.

I fall back down

Gotta stay high, all my life, to forget I’m missin’ you

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Other lyrics you might like: After the Storm, (Kali Uchis); Pleasure, (Feist); What Goes Around …/… Comes Around, (Justin Timberlake); i like the devil, (Purity Ring); Cameo Lover, (Kimbra); Don’t Start, (Dua Lipa); Dani California, (Red Hot Chili Peppers); Colorado, (Kota the Friend); Day N Nite, (Kid Cudi)

Pick up daddies at the playground, how I spend my daytime

Loosen up their frown, make ’em feel alive

• Casual Expressions: To “loosen up” something is to undo it, unwind it, or put it in a relaxed state.
• Grammar: *”Make them feel alive …”

I make it fast and greasy, I’m numb and way too easy

• Informal / Casual Speech: “Greasy” is usually used to describe food that is oily and bad for you, as well as car parts that are dirty and covered in sticky oil, which we would call “grease.” By saying it’s “fast and greasy,” it’s as if she is relating the situation to fast food, food that is quick and tastes good at the moment but leaves you feeling bad or dirty afterward. By saying her encounters were greasy, they were probably dirty, oily, sticky, and sort of uncomfortable. When someone is referred to as “easy,” it usually means they are easy to get with or sleep with. In less explicit contexts, it means that the person is really easy-going and isn’t very demanding. Saying “way too” is like adding emphasis to the “too.” It just means very very very. “It is way too hot outside.”

You’re gone and I gotta stay high

All the time, to keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

High, all the time, to keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Spend my days locked in a haze, tryna forget you, babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high, all my life, to forget I’m missin’ you

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Staying in my play pretend, where the fun ain’t got no end

• Expressions: “Play-pretend” is kind of like the world of “make-believe,” like the world of a child’s fantasy.
• Grammar: *”Where the fun doesn’t have an / any end …”

Oh, can’t go home alone again, need someone to numb the pain

• Grammar: *”I can’t go home … I need someone to numb …”

Oh, staying in my play pretend, where the fun ain’t got no end

Oh, can’t go home alone again, need someone to numb the pain

Then it repeats.

**Do you have a song suggestion you’d like me to explain the lyrics for? Want more songs by Tove Lo? Contact me with a one-to-one message or for collaboration at tietewaller@gmail.com (also on my contact page). Thanks again for stopping by. Peace to you!

Do Americans have a culture? – Doubts about the U.S.A.

frank mckenna

A Culture? Please …

I know, I know. This might seem like an odd question, but many out there wonder whether or not the U.S. really does have a culture. It’s debated by researchers and academics, even questioned by many Americans themselves. Well, you know I’m going to give you my opinion. But, what is culture in the first place?

Read more: Doubts About Americans

All countries have one (there goes your answer right there), and most countries have specific regional cultures within them. Even many cities have different “cultures” depending on the side of town. This usually happens in a north-south and east-west frame. Think of, say, Eastern and Western China, East and West Russia, North and South Italy, or North and South India. The same differences happen in the U.S., where you get different cultures from north to south and east to west and diagonal and so forth.

Probably the reason many would question whether America or Americans have any culture has more to do with having a culture of their own. Since everybody knows it’s a nation composed almost entirely of immigrants, it’s easy to see why people might question whether the U.S. even has a culture in the first place. Especially for visitors, often the first things they see are Uber and Lyft drivers that can hardly speak English, a Chinese restaurant on the left, a Mexican restaurant on the right, an Indian bazaar, a building that looks just like any other in Europe or somewhere else.

Read more: American ethnicity, American languages

Culture(s) of the U.S.

A lot of that is just on the surface, though. First and foremost, we just need to look at the first nations within our nation. Native Americans were here before “America” was even a thing. They have used hundreds of languages to express their many musical styles, customs, dressing traditions, and cuisines. Many of the food items common in current American cuisines like corn, turkey, different berries, and tomatoes are homegrown, original to the continent. And indigenous art and design are still highly influential, especially in regions like the Southwest and parts of the Midwest.

The Anglos and other British settlers also had a chunk of influence. They brought their heritage, sure, but established a distinct set of folklore, musical styles, attire, and identity altogether. Generally those identities differed from North to South and urban to rural too, where differences in lifestyle, accent, and ideology would diverge those two parts of the country even more. Besides setting the foundation for the United States as we know it, they also gave the nation its main language, now the most prominent and influential version of English on the planet. (Brits, please don’t get mad at me!)

With all that going on, others from Europe like the French, Dutch, Swedes, and Spanish were all pushing their own traditions and styles onto the locations they’d settled. This left Dutch architecture in New York, Spanish architecture in California and Texas, and French architecture in Louisiana. It also gave way to celebrations like Mardi Gras, and the establishment of some of America’s greatest and most iconic cities.

The Africans that were brought over to the New World also made their cultural impact. From their influence on cuisine, especially in the South and Mid-Atlantic, they helped to produce and invent many of the nation’s most iconic and preferred dishes, several with ingredients from the ancestral continent. Lyrical storytelling and passing down vocal history allowed many to preserve their musical traditions. This continues to impact American and World music in a huge way till this day. With some of the most important black social leaders and intellects, African Americans have become some of the most recognizable and admired black individuals known all over the world. Many black people from other countries and colonies also had a huge impact on the nation’s ID. And America’s obsession with athletics, TV, and movies have helped to solidify that role.

Oh, and let’s not forget the many immigrants that came to establish their own unique cultures in the U.S. different from their home lands. I mean, Chicano isn’t quite Mexican, and Nuyorican isn’t quite Puerto Rican (even though Puerto Rican is still American, as much as Guamanian, American Samoan, Mariana, or Virgin Islander is). Just name all the religious sects and denominations that sought refuge here. Heck, many still were persecuted when they got here. Many of their traditional cuisines and customs have been modified to U.S.-style, but there are still places where their customs have been preserved like in their ancestral countries.

Just the Beginning

And that’s just looking at individual groups. I haven’t even begun to talk about consumerism and capitalism, the phenomenon of malls and suburbs, movie culture and car culture, skateboarding and surfing, baseball and basketball, football and the bashing of any other sport that claims to be football, Americana and jukebox nostalgia, hostility and hospitality, Broadway and Hollywood, Main Street and Middle America, country living and the urban rush, the woes of yards and pounds, love-hate feels about war and the admiration of military, the superiority complex and the self-loathing, “pulling up your bootstraps” and the mental health crisis, ranches and rodeos, guns and cowboys, hippies and hipsters, donators and volunteers, scammers and schemers, big enterprise and social media craze, an app for everything and a distrust in politics, religious fundamentalists and homegrown extremists, luaus and hula dancers, freezer food and barbecues, bison and bald eagles, conservative rules, and the sex, swearing, and drugs that never seem to get ruled out.

Read more: American religion, Black Americans

There’s a lot that makes America what it is, but one thing’s for certain; Americans do have a culture … but I’ll let others figure out what that culture actually is.

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Dating Internationally – Interview from Relationship Matters

By Susan Rex, posted originally on Relationship Matters

Welcome to an extra feature on Relationship Matters. it’s a chance for readers ( those who are married, in a relationship or single) to get to know and learn from other couples experience.

It’s a pleasure to introduce Mr Trystn Waller to you. most of us could probably benefit from a lesson or two from him. I hope you take some time to check out his website http://atomic-temporary-182764846.wpcomstaging.com

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Can you please introduce yourself ;

Hello! So my name is Trystn, from Los Angeles, California. I have lived there most of my life although I’ve been to many places in my state and the U.S. I am currently married and work online as an English tutor and create content for my website. Otherwise, I do multiple other freelance jobs when I get the chance.

How did you meet your partner? what attracted you to her.

I met my wife online actually! Sandra is from Brazil, and we met on a website for language exchange. I was learning Portuguese and she was learning English. We spent several months communicating by messages and video before I decided to go visit her. After that, you could say we solidified our relationship and made it official. Besides being beautiful and funny, I was attracted to her willingness to listen to me. Being long-distance, we had to depend on our communication, and this made us feel super close. Sandra is also very family-oriented and cares a lot about others, and this made me feel great respect for her.

How long did you date? what was your typical dating like.

Since much of the beginning of our relationship was online, we didn’t have the usual dating period. We would spend time chatting online for hours a day for about 10 months until I made it to Brazil. When we were together, Sandra would take me to touristic places in her city, Sao Paulo, or we would visit different family members. We also had more alone time during those days so we got close really quickly. We “dated” for about a year before deciding to get engaged, but we didn’t get married for about 2 years after that. We’ve spent a lot more time together since then.

Can you recall the most romantic/best moment with your partner? How was the feeling like(are you smiling recalling that moment).

The most romantic moments we had I think were just laying together, talking or not saying a word, and stroking each other. Just that physical connection and appreciation for the presence of someone you love was special to me. I think also when we would kiss in public like in the park, it was an exhilarating feeling and very romantic. We’ve had lots of cool moments like that, so I can’t pinpoint a single one, but I do smile when I think of those moments.

When was the last time you said “I love you” to your partner?

I got into the habit of saying “I love you” to her a lot when we were dating. After getting married I haven’t felt the need to say it as much, and there’s a reason behind this. Sandra is not a very verbally expressive person when it comes to love, but she shows it a lot in her actions. I realized this and have been trying to show her more love with my actions as opposed to words. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to say it and I should tell her more often. I say “I love you” every few days or so, sometimes randomly and sometimes intently. As of now, it’s been about two days.

Have you ever change anything about your partner?

She is also very resistant to change, so I haven’t been able to! Jokes aside, I think at the beginning I wanted her to be more assertive and take more control with her plans. After those beginning months, I did start to notice more and more things I wanted to change in her, but over time I realized it’s not worth it. I have to love her for who she is, and I think I was creating this false image of who I wanted her to be. Once I realized accepted who she truly was, I stopped wanting her to change.

Have you tried to stop your partner not to do a particular thing just because you feel jealous or angry?

There was one significant time when I did this. One year I was in Sao Paulo for Carnaval and we decided to go Downtown to sell beers and Coke. So we bought a ton of cans and got a Styrofoam cooler and went out to sell. When we got there we saw lots of people dancing and having fun, and so we decided to join in. I noticed we hadn’t sold anything after a while, and I started getting irritated. Besides being butt-hurt that nobody wanted our drinks, I also was insecure about my dancing at the time. So I said something that wasn’t so nice and got irritated with Sandra. This day was particularly hard for me and it caused me to work hard on changing my mindset. Luckily I can say I’m much more relaxed these days than I was at the start.

Will you say “I’m sorry” to your partner even though it’s not your fault?

Well… I have a hard time owning up to when I’m wrong. I hate being wrong, haha. But I say sorry when I am. If I’m not wrong, I have an even harder time! But there are times that I can recognize, “You know what? You need to just let bygones be bygones and brush this under the rug.” I did have to do this quite a bit when we were dating on the phone because Sandra would get upset for stuff that I thought was normal, but because we hadn’t established trust and a connection yet, I had to just say sorry so we could move past it. Now on a rare occasion, I do say sorry even if I know I’m not wrong. But the best remedy I found for this is not doing things that I’ll have to say sorry for.

Is it really necessary to know everything from your partner’s previous Relationship?

At first, I did want to know a lot about her previous relationships. It was a painful curiosity, especially knowing and that I was highly insecure at the time. Now I don’t care and she can talk about it as much or as little as she wants. I think with trust you don’t need to know all of that information. Give me the highlights, as long as there’s not a dark past there, I’m cool on your exes.

If you could choose your partner again, would you choose same person?

This is an interesting question. I think everything we do in life is for a purpose and I know being with my wife now is the right decision. She’s made my life better since the day we met and I’d be different, like 100% different if we hadn’t have met, trust me. I think my mistake was that I jumped into the relationship very fast because I was insecure at the time. If I could do it again, I would wait to have more self-confidence, be more mature, and have more realistic expectations. Sandra is more than what I ever asked for or imagined, but I created this false sense of who I wanted her to be and who I was. Now I’m much more realistic, and much happier because of it. It took some time though, and I’m continuing to grow.

What your advice for those who are still searching for their other perfect half?

If you’re still looking for your perfect match, I would say … stop it! Haha, really. I feel like these things work better when we’re not looking. When we look for love, I feel like we start to get desperate or we get super demanding. Don’t worry if the person checks out all your requirements or if they seem like the opposite of what you wanted. Follow the feeling you get when you’re with them. Be realistic. Know who you are and what you like.

You’ve got to know that no one is perfect and any person you get with no matter the appearance will have flaws and will piss you off sometimes, and that’s okay. Know that this is normal. Look for someone who challenges you and respects you, someone you can be your complete self with without hiding anything. And please, be open and honest. There’s nothing worse than lying about who you are only for it to blow up in your partner’s face years down the line, and vice versa. Enjoy life and enjoy being with people, and at one point you will bump into your other half.

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Email me at; relationtipps@gmail.com or relationships_rm@yahoo.com ( Collab post, guest post, interview welcome)